Women must unite to survive

Ethel da Costa
courtesy: Insight O Heraldo, Goa

submitted by the author to TGF on January 12, 2002

What is the difference between chudiyan and kadas? Both are arm ornaments – the former worn by women, the latter by men. Only, bangles are looked upon as a sign of weakness, while kadas, on the other hand, denote masculinity, a sign of strength and power. In the interpretation of a simple piece of body decorating jewelry, lies the issue of justice, prejudice and equality.

For example, when Muslim governed countries –like the Taliban –commits untold atrocities against its women under the cloak of religion, the rest of the world gasps and covers its mouth in horror. When it happens in a democratically run country like India, we look the other way.

A recent report from the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) drives home a very subtle, but alarming point. The findings of the report suggest an unhealthy, imbalance in the male-female population ratio in the states of Haryana and Punjab, not because the men and women of these two states have come of age – you know, let’s make love but not babies. But, because of the hugely popular practice of selective sex abortion.

The report, based on the 2001 census also shows that the malady is not the problem of the illiterate, backward class, but a phenomenon of the upwardly mobile class of people. The educated, monied class were systematically getting rid of their unborn girls, because they were still perceived to be a burden on the family. This burden was expensive to maintain, which had to be gotten rid off by paying huge sums of dowry!!

Appalling? Sure.  Are we in the 21st century for real?

In most parts of India – Goa is still no better if you sincerely ask me – sons are looked upon as natural heirs (even if they are no good vagabonds) in property and religious matters. Girls – no matter how talented, versatile and capable – are considered as liabilities.

So, why spend on their higher education or polishing their talent, because, anyway, they have to leave the house and go set up home with somebody else? Girls are investments to be written off. (Bless those few parents who treat sons and daughters equal).

The recent census conducted on Goa too shows an alarming imbalance in the male-female population ratio. Let me do a reality check: As on March 1, 2001, Goa’s population stood at 13,43,998 comprising 6,85,617 males to 6,58,381 females. The population of North Goa was 3,88,116 males and 3,69,291 females, and that of South Goa 2,97,501 males and 2,80,090 females.

There is more truth: The sex-ratio i.e. number of females per thousand males for Goa works out to 960 in 2001 as compared to 967 in 1991.

The scales are tipping heavily against women, who are today less in number as compared to males. Could I even dare to guess why?

And mind you, Goa is looked upon as a progressive, educated, literate, cosmopolitan state with a high per capita income, second to Delhi. Our women are perceived to enjoy equal status, economically (even though if this is a myth), and are considered socially better off, than say, women in Bihar.

So, are we making less babies, because we have suddenly discovered the `power of the condom,’ or it is because enlightenment has finally dawned on our purse strings and wallets?

If the census is to believed, Goa’s present rate of growth of population is down by 1.19%, when compared with 16.08% recorded between 1981-1991.

The Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act (1972) and Prenatal Diagnostic Techniques Regulation and Prevention of Misuse Act (1994) were put into force so as to deter malpractices of selective foeticide. Sad to say, but a doctor previously attached to the Goa Medical College confided to me that the same acts were misused by unscrupulous doctors, who were interested in making a side, fast buck, by misusing the law to determine the sex of the foetus. If it was female, and the parents were agreeable, the baby was destroyed.

A Goan activist, who went undercover as an expectant mother, to learn the truth, came back enraged when she was told that the doctor could conduct the abortion, if the foetus was a girl.

So much for our religious and moral fallacies!!

Unfortunately, I see a dangerous trend in these findings. A trend that will – in the years to come – veer towards an increase in atrocities against women by way of increasing crime against women. Because, with less women around, who and where will the men go to?

As it is, women in Goa and elsewhere are still a disadvantaged lot when it comes to property, social justice and economic equality. It is a myth that women in Goa are a better lot despite the presence of the Uniform Civil Code.

A lawyer tells me that women in Goa are not even aware of their rights, forget exercise them, since they have been mentally conditioned to stay ignorant. Add on the social pressures and you have a bomb that defuses even before it can explode.

So, what’s the silver lining here in this anti-female story? What I have been saying all along – and I’m hoarse now baby – that only a change in attitude can bring about the betterment of our society.

The change HAS to start with the WOMEN. An independent thinking change in mindsets, at a deeper subconscious level. The key to this puzzle is in the hands of women only. Men come and go, it is the women who can work for the betterment of other women. We have to keep the men aside – or better still, mould them to co-operate – by taking the weapon of decision-making into our hands, beginning from the home. It is only women who can understand what other women need. This task cannot be left with NGOs. It has to start with US.

However, my experience with some of the women I know is hardly encouraging. Governed by their environment, women within the FAMILY sometimes are conditioned not to support other women. Family politics plays a big role in celebrating faults and misfortunes, however wide maybe their social circles or academic achievements.

With women like these still amongst us, no wonder Indian families still prefer the male child over the girl child. Unless we change our attitude and look towards the future, much hope cannot be pumped into a system that needs a fresh lease of leaders, ideas and attitudes. Can we motivate ourselves to initiate this change?

Ethel da Costa
January 12, 2002
 

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