Of Snakes, Ladders, Tits and Bits

Floriano Lobo

Here I am, having being eaten up by the great Anaconda in the game of "Snakes and Ladders"  back to square one from a clean twenty. And, I do not regret it in the least titbit. At  least I am alive and well after that long long passage down .through the gory insides of the  great snake.

I remember the story that my grandmother used to tell, and which, as knee high grasshoppers,  we would want it repeated day after day, sitting at the side of the heating "Modki" (huge copper pot to heat up water for bath) while stoking the fire of dried leaves.  My mother  opted for the copper one, though an earthenware one was cheaper, for obvious reasons. She  had four thugs to reckon with, who could bring bankruptcy to the house faster than the "Bank of Goa" of Ramakant Khalap.

And, the story was of a huge python who chose to wait-up for the toddy tapper to come down the coconut palm. Not able to wait forever on the tree, the tapper decided to brave the great open cave of a mouth waiting for him, with his sharp machete held firmly, slicing the great python's stomach as he slid down, to come out safe and sound. Simple as that.

And, there was a real story reported the other day in the local newspapers , of a python swallowing a cheetah, who managed to come out, but both succumbing to the efforts. It was a sad end though.

I vividly remember the python that was caught by our boys near my house in Moira, on the day of the wedding of my younger brother and how this python , which was more than 2 meters long, and which had swallowed a full size fox, had become the video star for the night, entertaining the wedding reception guests. The forest department wouldn't the bugger, so we  left it back where we found him, to eat more foxes, a deed we regret to this day. Why? Where are the foxes which would lovingly steal our chicken once in a while? They are all  gone. Kaput!

Yet another eye-witness story of a great ferocious python that was told to us by a hunter friend of ours, during the Portuguese times. "It was a chanced sight that I got to witness"  he said, "of a fight unto death between a tiger and a python, in the jungle of  Castle-Rock", during one of his hunting trips. "The tiger could have easily walked away, but  he was stubborn" he said. "In the fight that lasted almost all of the day, the python  eventually had his meal" " But it was one raw sight"

But then, this has always been my flaw. All this python thing just because I thought I would use the word "Snakes & Ladders" to tell Eugene Correia that he was responsible for the lovely, 20 long cherished TiTs & BiTs to be re-incarnated to a short delivery "titbits" to come to square one.

The flaw, which remained behind is that given a topic, I could go on and on, until it became interestingly boring. And I had something abstract in my mind that I wanted to dedicate to Eugene as promised. Thank God, the "Snakes" preceded the "Ladder" But if it was the other way round, like in "Ladders & Snakes", the "ladder" would have taken this piece even higher than the "bean-stock". I am thankful for the guy who invented the "Snakes & Ladders" and for putting the "Snakes" before the "Ladder"

And, I must remember, though, to talk some about the "Ladder" someday, when I have difficulty in getting a politician or someone equally good in my laser-beam sights.

And, for any good reason, if Eugene does not approve of my dedication of this "titbits", I can always opt for "t i d b i t s" . That would be more easier for me because, every time I type the British 'titbits" , this American Bill Gate's MS WORD, with its inbuilt spell-check, makes it the American 'tidbits'.

But I shall persevere as long as I can to keep it the British "titbits", cause I don't want to lose my dear British 'tit' for the American 'tid', if I can help it. As it is, Vajpayee and Advani are over indulging themselves in everything American, now a days, after having forgotten that they used to purchase SWADESHI not long ago. Beside, as far as Vajpayee is concerned, he is sporting an all American "KNEE CAP" in one of his Indian Swadeshi leg. Godonly knows what American thing that Advani fellow is going to go for. It could be anybody's guess.

And, they say that a dog's tail will never become strait. I started with a good old "Snake"  and see where I ultimately landed, talking about, the slippery as oil, political snakes, who  are going to take our good old Bharat in the mouths of thousand Gujarat tigers.

Floriano Lobo
September 17, 2002

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