re: Family Feuds by Ema Souza Colaço -
By Ben Antao & Aloysius D'Souza
Ema Souza-Colaco, in her thoughtful article on Family feuds in Goa, wrote:
[It appears that Goans have made it an art form to disrupt weddings and devise, albeit unconsciously, novel methods to start arguments at or just after the reception. And this is supposed to be one of the most important days of the newly married couple. What a nightmare it turns out to be ! ]
How true indeed! Not only at weddings, I might add, but also at social gatherings. Compromise is an idea that is totally alien to the Goan consciousness in general. Thank God, there are exceptions to this.
Ms. Souza-Colaco has adroitly highlighted the problem--egotism. While a healthy development of the ego is necessary for human progress, the idea of the greatest good of the greatest number also needs to be kept in mind, in my view, to achieve the equality of all peoples of the world.
In this respect, inherited caste differences among Goans get in the way. Even Christians who are supposed to treat everyone as equal forget this philosophy when it comes to living the Christian message, as if religion were a matter of ritual only and not a guide for living standards.
I understand that in Goa today the new generation is in the process of dismantling the caste structure by way of inter-caste marriages. I salute this development. In the U.S. and Canada, the new generation of Goans are also marrying non-Goans in increasing numbers. This is a good sign as well.
Of course, feuds involving greed, envy, misunderstandings, and egotism occur in every family all over the world. But we Goans are beset with a historical disease of casteism and we have to strive consciously to rid the malaise from our system.
In other words, we have to communicate truthfully to give a chance for bonding to occur. If there are more than 50 members on this list, everyone should contribute at least once a month something that he/she feels strongly about so that we may deepen our understanding of one another and the issues that confront us.
All the best.
Ben Antao Toronto Sept. 6, 1999
I think we Goans should sing that song "You always
hurt the one you love"
In India our works are so protected that they can literally get
away with murder and hence no incentive to work -- worse still in Goa where no one thinks there is any
need to work since money comes from the likes of Jose's story "Peter's Plight" -- money available for the
Post a response
The Goan Forum©
a Boa Vista-Bahamas presentation
The views expressed on this site are ONLY those of the authors. Please contact the authors if you wish to reproduce any of the posts or The Goan Forum to comment upon their content.